A Lesson On Forgiveness

If you read a couple of my personal post in the past, you would know that I had some neighbour problems recently. This young couple is an average, lovely family with a little girl who’s the same age as my little bub. We used to chat to them a lot until this happened. Followed by a twist of events when this happened.

I don’t count myself as a particularly unforgiving person. I don’t go out of my way to be bitter, bear grudges or keep tallies. But I ama sensitive person {ok, my husband will say ultra sensitive} – I do get hurt, I do get offended, I do have a very fragile heart; when things like that happen, I do shut off a little. I do not ever be rude {as I teach my daughter not be rude, even to bullies}, but I am definitely more wary and no longer as friendly or open with the person, perhaps because I am subconsciously afraid of being hurt again.

My husband however, couldn’t be more different.

While I still say hi with a smile to my neighbours when I see them, I no longer go out of my way to stop and have a cuppa or a half hour chat. My husband however, stillhas long friendly chats with them, even offers to go over and help have a look at their leaking toilet, still offers to help with this and that…. the other night, my husband even invited them over for dinner and said I would cook a nice meal for them.

I didn’t protest it. But truth be told, I wasn’t jumping for joy either. Especially since the day before the dinner, my neighbour {the guy} said something really racist {he did add, “no offence, haha”}  And I was supposed to cook for them?

Despite his flaws and the little things that annoy, one thing I love, admire and really respect about my husband is his big heart. He said he was offended at my neighbour’s comment but he also said my neighbour obviously isn’t a very sensitive person {in view of all the run-ins we have had} but he means no harm.

I did a tacos meal and when they came over and I was so surprised because… it actually went really… well. Actually, it was… lovely. The kids played together, we chatted at the table for a few hours. I even did an unplanned chocolate cake dessert just because I wanted to pamper my guests and let them go home {next door} happy and full. I’m glad that we gave it a chance {ok, more like my husband… but I’m glad the dinner did happen and go so well}.

I’m so glad that my daughter seems to have inherited my husband’s big-heartedness. You know how some kids sulk for hours cause you reprimanded them? My daughter is the opposite. You could lecture her about losing her things again and getting in trouble at school…. she’ll have her sad face on but in a few minutes, she’ll stop when she’s walking past, give you a cuddle and say “I love you” which I always think is so sweet.

I wouldn’t label myself an unforgiving person but I do think there is room for improvement. I also do like reflecting and working on issues by being aware of them. And I’m blessed that the people to learn from… are right in my family.

Is there something in particular that you admire/want to learn from/respect in your other half?

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT!

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Mandy Webb

Freelance writer and Mum of 2 who loves penning my musings, documenting my journey through motherhood and life while indulging in my love for beauty and wellness! I believe in mums looking after themselves, inside and out... not only because we deserve it, but also because it helps us to be our best selves for our families. Read more about my story here

17 comments

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  1. Renee Wilson 8 July, 2014 at 10:02 Reply

    How generous of your husband to offer them a cooked meal by you!! ;) I’m so glad to hear it went well though. I am a sensitive person too, but when it comes down to it I hate holding a grudge and prefer to just build a bridge. I hope you and your neighbours continue to get along :) Dropping in via #teamIBOT

  2. Jodi Gibson 8 July, 2014 at 12:18 Reply

    Sometimes we need to take the path we wouldn’t normally take. And sometimes it turns out for the best. I hope it continues. Grudges can be draining. (I know!)

  3. Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad 8 July, 2014 at 12:19 Reply

    My husband has a big heart too and I’m always amazed at how patient he can be. Also when he is emotional or offended he can still stay calm and articulate his perspective with is a trait I certainly can’t pull off all that often. Sounds like you’re husband is very forgiving and dislikes conflict and is doing his best to move on and keep things friendly. That’s admirable.

    • Mandy W 9 July, 2014 at 08:20 Reply

      Hi Vicki! Oh yes, being able to stay calm when emotional/offended is definitely an awesome trait. My husband is very forgiving indeed and I would love to step back and see the big picture as he does more often xx

  4. Rhiannon 9 July, 2014 at 01:03 Reply

    To be honest, I might have been a little miffed if my Husband offered to cook for people who were blatantly rude and racist like that BUT I would eventually have understood his way of thinking (that the neighbours aren’t very sensitive) and accepted his decision. It is great when your personality and your Husbands have different traits that weigh each other out because it helps you to see things in a different perspective.

    I don’t think you necessarily need to change your sensitive nature to match your Husbands approach as you will always have him around to give you a different perspective when needed. Just as you are able to offer him your perspective when you see it from your sensitive nature.

    • Mandy W 9 July, 2014 at 08:19 Reply

      Hi Rhiannon! I was definitely not too happy! I like how you see it. I also think despite our differences, my husband and I do balance each other out as a couple. I don’t think I can ever actually change my nature per se (always will be a sensitive soul!) but I guess being able to see the big picture with a big heart is something I do admire in my husband. Thanks for popping by, love! x

  5. Norlin 9 July, 2014 at 02:05 Reply

    Hmm…I would love to learn to not think too much about a situation or what people think of me like Mr. C. He is never afraid of judgement. He doesn’t keep it in. I need to do that more often.

  6. Sarah from Creating Contentment 10 July, 2014 at 09:48 Reply

    I am currently participating in the #forgivenesschallenge that is down with Desmond Tutu. It is extremely enlightening. I did think of myself as forgiving, but there is lots of tiny grudges, grievances and annoyances that I’ve held onto. I am loving learning how to let all of this go and become lighter and happier for it.

  7. kpsays 12 July, 2014 at 04:55 Reply

    I am so like you, and my hubby is so like your hubby! We’ve been married nearly 17 years, and as much as I TRY to be more like him, it’s just not my nature. I have a huge, open, warm heart. If you hurt me/betray me, I don’t bounce back because I give 110% and it really hurts. I will forgive, and not hold a grudge, but that bridge is burned. I’m glad things went well with your neighbor. Hopefully, they will appreciate your generosity and learn from it! xo

  8. Living Serenely 14 July, 2014 at 06:02 Reply

    I remember that story you had shared some time ago. I would probably have been in the same place as you were. But it’s great that your big-hearted hubby is strong enough to lead everyone through, past that difficult place to be able to reach out and connect with those folks. Hope the relationship continues to thrive and grow between your two families.

  9. grace 22 July, 2014 at 11:00 Reply

    Hi Mandy, I am new to your blog but loving it! Your husband is a beautiful person. I will be so bad at that kind of situation. I am glad things are getting better between you and your neighbour x

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