When a husband gives his honest opinion…

I recently trimmed my hair when I was on holiday overseas. I only had a little trim to tidy it up but even stepping into the hairdresser has been a point of serious discussion. My hair has been a topic of our marriage for a long time now.

“Do you think I should cut my hair?” I always ask my husband.
“Honest opinion?” My husband would ask cautiously.
“Yeah, of course,” I always reply. I’m tough enough for an honest opinion ahem.
“Well… I hate when your hair is short or even shoulder length. It makes you look so much older and more mature… Like a mum.”
“Well, I AM a mum! And it’s my hair, not yours, why do you try to control it all? And why do you have to be such an ass?!” I retort, flaring up like one pissed off woman.
“But you wanted my honest opinion??!” answers the poor, confused man.

We have had this repeated conversation over and over again through the years. He hates me with short or shorter hair but I feel like I want a refreshing change… yet, like many women (I think), I like to ask my husband’s honest opinion and get annoyed with it.

I ask myself what I would rather: The ‘model’ reply of “Darling, it’s your hair, you can do whatever you want as long as you are comfortable and happy.” or his honest opinion?

Obviously, the first one sounds perfect and is something I could definitely work with.
Yet I would also like to have his honest opinion because I want to know what my husband thinks.
The dilemma….
Just another one of those things in a marriage… :)

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT after a long hiatus!

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Mandy Webb

Freelance writer and Mum of 2 who loves penning my musings, documenting my journey through motherhood and life while indulging in my love for beauty and wellness! I believe in mums looking after themselves, inside and out... not only because we deserve it, but also because it helps us to be our best selves for our families. Read more about my story here

24 comments

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  1. ♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys 10 September, 2013 at 00:30 Reply

    Hard question – hard answer.
    I didn’t have a choice when I was facing chemo. I know it is no comparison but I know my husband preferred long hair and so did I.
    Now I love my short hair (grown back) and I wish I’d taken the CUT sooner.
    Just do it, express yourself and let him get used to the new you.

  2. Six Little Hearts 10 September, 2013 at 01:04 Reply

    I hate when you say something like “I look fat” and the man replies “Don’t worry.” That’s when I really do worry!
    Men are a little hopeless in that dept. I am being generous with the little too…!

    • Mandy W 11 September, 2013 at 01:08 Reply

      I should do just that! My husband will whinge about it though. I had shoulder length hair through my pregnancy and he reminded me all the time that my hair was too short.

  3. Jasmine Huston 10 September, 2013 at 04:20 Reply

    Ah I totally get where you are coming from. I’m the exact same. I think what’s frustrating is the idea of WHY isn’t his honest opinion “you should do whatever you want as it’s your hair.” But at the same time, at least he is being honest in what he finds attractive about you and your hair! It’s tough!
    xx

  4. Me 10 September, 2013 at 04:40 Reply

    I don’t know if I have ever asked A what he thinks I should do with my hair but, given how drastic my hair styles have been (in comparison to the exisiting one) – I don’t think he would be game to say one way or the other – BUT he does always notice when I have had something done to my hair and generally does like it.
    Have a great day and good luck with resolving the issue !!!
    Me

    • Mandy W 11 September, 2013 at 01:11 Reply

      Oh so curious now about your drastic hair styles! Any pics? :) At the moment, I just meet him in the middle by trimming a little but not going above my shoulders.

  5. havealaughonme 10 September, 2013 at 10:27 Reply

    CLASSIC Mandy, my husband HATES it when I get my long hair cut too – what is it with men and SHORT HAIR!!! My hubby recently told me my boobs had deflated since I’d lost weight, GOOD ONE HUBBY!! xx

  6. Mrs Holsby 10 September, 2013 at 11:49 Reply

    When I once asked what he thought of my new haircut, he said he liked it better before. It caused such an argument that now when I ask him, and he says he likes it, we both laugh, because I’ll never, ever know if he does or not!!

  7. EssentiallyJess 12 September, 2013 at 05:16 Reply

    Oh it’s so hard cause you want to be respectful too!
    Boatman prefers it long, but in the past when I have said I would really like to cut it, he has been on board and then loved it. It’s hard though.

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